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by Prakash Patel (@prakashpatel_1) The definition of addiction by our friends at Wikipedia, in less than 140 characters, “is the continued repetition of behaviour despite adverse consequences, or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviour’s”. So what does this have to do with marketing, advertising, management, leadership or even parenthood for that matter? Nothing or everything?

We are now living in a world that has changed beyond recognition, a world that wouldn’t have been comprehensible only a decade ago, a world in which we have become what I a call “digital addicts”.

Addicts of the digital age

Really? It is actually like being a drug addict or even an alcohol addict. In this case, I explicitly mean addicts of the digital age.

Let me elaborate on my story, concerns and thoughts on this new addiction and the potentially consequences I have felt and seen in so many people’s behaviour…

I am a marketing veteran who is passionate about everything marketing- and digital-related; I am also a strategist who, ironically, helps conceive tactical campaigns and marketing strategies to build relationships between brands and their consumers in the digital age.

We are trained at understanding the array of communication devices and touch-points, the marketing landscape and how to connect with people using any medium, format or device, regardless of where they are, what they are doing and in what context — trust me, with data, platforms and tools at our disposal as marketers, we’ve got it all covered.

However, in the context as a husband and a father of three girls, what does the digital era mean to me as a family man seeing the effects of technology devices and social networks upon today’s modern families (and even in the business world)?

In a nutshell — it has changed my life drastically. I would like to think that it’s for the better in most cases but at the same time, on a personal level, there is also the deterioration of basic human etiquette, behaviour and socialisation skills, from the moment we wake up, attend a meeting, gather together as a family, up until the last second we go to sleep.

Changing times

Way back in the ’90s and at the turn of the 21^st century, our lives were so different.

I remember that, as a simple example, going out was a simple event — made easily with a quick phone call from the office to friends to meet for a few pints. I didn’t know whom they might be bringing, if they were going to be late or not (as the Tube line closed down), what we would end up talking about or where we would be ending up at until the moment we got a taxi or the Tube home.

Now days, your friends or partner know exactly where you are in ‘real time’. I can even share a picture of the broken-down train as proof or check in (eg Foursquare) to tell my mates I have arrived at the local pub, then — after a load of pics shared via Instagram (and now probably via Instagram HyperLapse) of the fun we are having — book a cab to take us to the next venue (knowing exactly where the taxi is on route eg Uber). How times have now changed!

But there has been one major downside I have witnessed or partaken in, which I feel I need to address, and that is my addiction to my #SixthSense (smartphone/tablet/phablet etc). According to many addiction specialists, potential addictions may include, but are not limited to, drug abuse, exercise addiction, food addiction, computer addiction and gambling.

My life, like many, is now driven by constantly wanting to grab and look at my smartphone — like an addict waiting for his next fix — for that moment of instant gratification. So let me give you some insights into my personal life (and probably a window into your own life) concerning something that I have been denying for some time now (like a good addict would):

#AddictCase1

The other night, my six-year-old daughter asked me to watch her favourite movie with her, which I gladly did with pleasure. While lying down, as per normal, I was twin-screening: looking at my social feeds and stories on my #SixthSense while at the same time kind of watching TV…

What happened next surprised me.

My daughter turned around and told me to put my phone down.

‘Never’ — so I carried on twin-screening.

She then asked me to give her the phone if I didn’t stop it.

WT#ashtag was that, I thought? My six-year-old was telling me what to do.

Why? Because she knew I was an addict (classic hallmarks of addiction include impaired control over substances or behaviour, preoccupation with substance or behaviour, continued use despite consequences, and denial).

She was basically asking me to give her my full attention in what she was doing. What I had actually been doing was giving up my special one-on-one family time and only paying half of my attention to my daughter and giving the other half to my #SixthSense, reading in some cases pointless drivel or viewing uninspiring photos of a duck’s arse. What can be more precious than the time with your kids?

#AddictCase2

There’s nothing like going out for lunch in South Africa, which has some of the finest eating and drinking venues in the world. I am blessed and live in Franschhoek. A fairytale village. If you love mountains, food and wine — there isn’t a better place to go for lunch or dinner with the family.

Anyway, going out for lunch at the weekend is a treat with F&Fs. But, in between ordering food and waiting for it to arrive, what most people do is have a virtual date with their phones in the virtual world vs enjoying the company (family, friends and acquaintances) you are with. Surely the very reason you have gone out?

I know I am not alone. Just like standing up now and saying, “My name is Prakash Patel and I am an addict”, I know I am surrounded by millions of other people doing the same.

The next time you are out, just look around and see how many other people are doing just this, from couples, to families to friends and colleagues.

My wife always says to me: “Enjoy the moment.” Feel it, live it and remember it vs always wanting to catch it on my phone. She’s right; a photo is a moment captured. But also a moment only seen through a lens.

I am not saying stop capturing moments — but there is always a balance needed.

#AddictCase3

Recently, we were asked to pitch for some sizable business in Cape Town, and the pitch team had been working day and night to get the work done.

Morning came, and the team members were all set to do their job. Present their work with 200% enthusiasm — which they did. But what upset me was watching a number of the people around the table reading emails (or whatever they were doing on their phones).

Where has basic business etiquette gone?

When you are at a meeting and you are not listening but multitasking on the second screen — show some basic courtesy and think about the person talking or presenting (it’s never easy). Yes, I know it could be a very important email but let’s not forget how we managed to get by decades ago, before the digital revolution, without missing a life-threateningly important email or crisis at work. I am sure we can do the same now.

Let’s think about business etiquette in this instance and put your phone down. It’s also just another form of digital addiction that needs to be managed.

How to kick the habit

So here’s how I am going to kick the habit.

Digital plays — and will continue to play — a pivotal role in our lives, both at work and at home — and I love it! But, as with anything in life, it is all relative.

In some cases, the digital revolution has afforded human beings opportunities never imagined before, conveniences never experienced before, the ability to convey freedom of speech to billions, or engagements that were just never possible due to technological advancements (bar science-fiction movies such as Running Man, Minority Report or now even Almost Human — the future of future is just around the corner).

But where does the real-world and virtual-world life-balance sit? With us making informed decisions in how we want digital to not only enhance our lives at work and home but to stop from becoming an obsession and addiction in our family and social lives.

Therefore, I want to make a concerted effort to manage my addiction for my family’s sake; we simply just need to sometimes stop and enjoy the moment, as my wife would say, where we are breathing in, touching, seeing, hearing, tasting — senses we are fortunate to have, senses that computers yet cannot do (well, breathe, anyway) — and enjoy the moments away from your #SixthSense.

Balancing the future

Life is all about getting the balance right. Being switched on 24/7 isn’t right; it’s unhealthy. For me, I have been starting my own journey in going cold, as they say — where I believe I need to set the boundaries in enjoying life with my family, friends and colleagues — with balance in mind in how I want technology and devices to enrich and enhance my work/life balance.

So, the next time you are out — with friends at a braai, enjoying family time, or in a business meeting — think before you grab your #SixthSense and make time for the real world.

For me, as a digital marketer, #TheFutureisBright #TheFutureisDigital but the future needs to be #Balanced.

Signs of computer or #SixthSense addiction

Here is a list of signs of addictions. How many do you tick out of 10? Will you be joining me and giving your addiction the cold shoulder?

• Having a constant preoccupation with the computer, either online or offline
• Feeling an intense desire to go online, play a computer game, or socialise
• Being drawn by the computer as soon as you wake up and before you go to bed
• Spending time on the computer despite family functions taking place, special events, or other activities that you were once happy to be a part of
• Replacing old hobbies with excessive use of the computer and using the computer as your primary source of entertainment and procrastination
• Lying to your family and friends about the activities that you perform while on the computer, such as saying that you are working on homework when you are actually playing a game
• Exhibiting mood swings or irritability when you are not allowed to spend as much time on the computer as you would like to or if your computer time is interrupted
• Using the computer as a form of escapism from reality (Wikipedia)
• Having an emotional attachment to your #SixthSense
• Losing track of time while on the computer and spending more time on it than intended.

Prakash Patel (@prakashpatel_1) is chief strategy officer at Fogg Experiential Design, a technically-enabled, digitally-led, creatively-inspired, data-driven and strategically-focused design company based in Johannesburg and Cape Town.

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