EXCLUSIVE: Quirk Cape Town grabs top ECD

conn bertish

by Herman Manson (@marklives) Conn Bertish has been appointed as the new Executive Creative Director of Quirk Cape Town. Bertish is currently the ECD of JWT Cape Town and member of the JWT global creative council.

Bertish started his career as a copywriter at Ogilvy & Mather in 1999 and became a senior copywriter at The Jupiter Drawing Room Cape Town in 2000 before moving to Saatchi & Saatchi as a creative director. He has been with JWT for close to seven years.

James Mckay, Managing Director of Quirk Cape Town, says the agency has been talking to various top creative talent, including Bertish, for close to 18 months. Mckay, who also worked at JWT before joining Quirk and knows Bertish well, says the agency had to bring an ECD on board with a background in strong idea centric campaigns and that Bertish has a great track record in this regard.

Mckay describes Bertish as dynamic, passionate, a natural leader and passionate about creating advertising that has the ability to connect with people.

Quirk is being positioned to take on any agency in South Africa, and across the continent, in the ideas space, according to Mckay. At the moment the water flows both ways, says Mckay, with agency groups up skilling in the digital environment, and digital agencies bringing on board big brand and idea centric thinking.

Bertish takes up his new position in January 2013.

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Ad of the Week with Oresti Patricios – Gotta love this horrifying new campaign

MarkLives Ad of the Week with Oresti Patricios – Gotta love this horrifying new campaign

What is it about Marmite that makes the yeasty spread such a perennially relevant brand? Perhaps it is because the dark, salty sandwich favourite has been around for almost 110 years, but my bet is that it is, in part, because the people who market the brand are clever. Oh so very, very clever.

In the UK, the makers of the dark brown paste where intelligent enough to work with an advertising agency that told them that not everyone was a lover of Marmite, and that the sandwich spread shouldn’t try to be all things to all people.

Harvard Business Review tells how Marmite’s brilliantly controversial ‘Love It or Hate It’ campaign was born 15 years ago out of a difference of tastes among the creative team at DDB London. “One loved the brown, savoury spread and one hated it. The campaign’s longevity and fame reflects the fact that even in its country of origin, the brand’s strong taste is ‘challenging’.”

The business journal recalls a memorable ad in the campaign called ‘Apartment’ which was aired over ten years ago and featured a young couple locked in a passionate embrace. “The clinch ends abruptly as the young man gags. The ad ends with the now famous super, ‘You either love it or hate it’.”

HBR says this campaign saw an end to five years of stagnating sales and a weakening brand. The ad took a bold risk and led to growth of around 5% each year for many years.

Writes Guardian of the bold campaign: “Instead of glossing over the fact that a good portion of the populace feel Marmite is really quite grim, the Love it or Hate it campaign embraced the truth that Marmite is a strong flavour, which evokes strong feelings. In doing so, it created a way for even those who hate Marmite-the-product to interact with and love Marmite-the-brand. Giving them licence to say things such as “I want to stab it until it dies. Then burn it. And then mail its ashes to its grandmother” and sound like they’re in with the joke, rather than in with the lunatic asylum.”

Back home independent agency Machine has produced an ingenious Halloween campaign that plays with this love/hate compulsion called ‘Don’t be afraid of the Dark’. The creepy activation encourages people to not be scared and try the original dark stuff “because there really isn’t anything to be afraid of”.

The challenge with a product like Marmite is keeping the brand fresh, relevant and in the forefront of consumer minds, which Machine has done with this clever campaign and its precursor, the multiple award winning work – ‘If Mother didn’t tell you about Marmite, what else didn’t she tellyou?’ work.

‘Don’t be afraid of the Dark’ was executed across multiple channels and including two Marmite Halloween graffiti walls at high traffic intersections in Johannesburg; Marmite Halloween posters that hint at Hollywood horror; and a hand illustrated book of 13 ghoulish SA short stories; and a limited edition of Marmite jars hand crafted into caricatures of well-knownhorror personalities that will be auctioned off for charity.

The challenge for Machine was that research by Marmite showed that few local youth knew about the product, and the brand had very little relevance to the market. Often these ‘let’s go capture the youth market’ ads are embarrassing, if not twee, because they’re often ads where agencies presume to know what young people want, like or need.

The Machine campaign is different. It is completely cool and relevant. Which is of course, what makes it oh so very smart. What’s not to love?

View the campaign work here: http://www.behance.net/gallery/Marmite-Dont-be-Afraid-of-the-Dark-2012/5747063
To view the motion stop video of the graffiti wall, click here: http://youtu.be/OlA6ZK4RBa8

The creative credits for Marmite’s ‘Don’t be afraid of the Dark’:
Creative Directors: Jake Bester, Gareth Macpherson
Design Directors: Dani Loureiro, Bridget McLaren
Art Directors: Josh Hilton Foster
Copywriters: Craig Walford, Gisele Human, Neil Meyer
Designers: Josh Hilton Foster, Bridget McLaren
Illustrators: Dani Loureiro, Andrew Ringrose

Marmite Figurines:
Original Artwork: Joshua Hilton Foster, Neil Meyer
3D Modeling: Amy Rusch, Melissa Cohen, Jacqueline Viljoen
Painting of Figurines: Althea Visagie

Mural:
Original Artwork: Andrew Ringrose
Mural: Nick Herbert
Animation: Natalie Perel / Nick Herbert
Editor: Natalie Perel
Sound design: Say Thank You

Ad of the Week is published on MarkLives every Wednesday. See past selections here.
Oresti Patricios is the CEO of brand and reputation analysis company Ornico.

The Gate Keeper: Chapter 24 (In which the intern contemplates blackmail)

by Andrew Miller TBW Smith Jones Wallace Broadbent and Ndimande is an agency in crisis. Their ‘basket of boutique services’ strategy has bombed. Only a massive new project can keep the doors open – all eyes are now on the corporate tent at Mangaung. Far in the background, an emergency replacement executive PA with decades of experience makes important decisions. Interns rise, board members take unexpected steps and things begin to change…

The intern considers the full ramifications of the Chairman’s criminal intent, while the consultant starts to walk the corridors…

Chapter 24

In which the intern contemplates blackmail

Dear Diary

Well well well they’ve got old Arthur Harris back in to deal with the Tim Broadbent situation and we have a gossip tsunami on our hands. Arthur Harris is not, um, universally respected after the whole Basket of Boutique services thing. Even the little ones know enough to know that he’s the guy that… well, enough said.

There’s also been talk about him and Nonhlanhla getting a little more friendly than they should, but I’m sure that’s just malicious. In any event, he just scuttled out of here in a hurry – he didn’t even nod on his way out. I wonder what they’ve asked him to do?

Vati was sitting, watching. Despite her new status as agency golden child, she was struggling to find something to actually do. She would have loved to put her new headphones on, but it had been made abundantly clear on arrival at the upper levels that members of the strategy team Did Not Wear Headphones. Especially not green and pink ones. She thumbed through her filo fax speculatively. The pages were empty.

The strat boys had been locked in a meeting room for three days, working on something they refused to talk about. Her Hip Hop and Rural Finance concept had been fed up and down the chain, to the fat ones and the creatives like Simon and Phil. Which left her with nothing to do. She thought (because she had to do something) about the lunch she had shared with Phil and Tim Broadbent.

Once they had got over their collective shock, they all had a surprisingly good time. The biggest surprise of all was Tim’s anti-advertising vehemence, delivered in the form of fatherly advice.

“You had dreams, yes?” He poked a fork in Phil’s general direction. “When you were, let’s say 13 years old?”

Phil nodded carefully, trying not to look too stoned.

“What were they?” Tim waved the fork again.

“Uh, I think. Something naïve. Like being a poet. Or Jim Morrison. Or a poet who looked like Jim Morrison. That sort of thing.”

“You write poetry?” Vati laughed to herself while making a big show of carving up her pasta. There it was, that little un-knowable something in Phil that kept her coming back. Phil the poet.

“Uh, yes.” Phil’s cheeks flushed.

“Was it any good? Is it any good?” Tim Broadbent put his knife and fork down carefully, locked his fingers under his chin and gave Phil an executive level stare.

“Um, I don’t know. I never showed anyone.”

“And that,” Tim Broadbent picked his utensils up dramatically and put them back to work, “is exactly my point. Everyone in advertising arrived on the back of far more important dreams.”

Vati fiddled again in her Filo Fax. The lack of substance in her work was even more disturbing and strange after that lunch. A large part of her was still expecting Tim to retract it all and announce the joke – to call another lunch and offer some wise old man’s career guidance that would give her and Phil insight into how they could progress in the business. To hear a seventy year old veteran of the advertising trenches denounce it all as meaningless and morally dangerous, well… it was difficult. Add to that his impromptu announcement of  what sounded distinctly like a blackmail campaign… Vati was starting feel nervous. Not in an abstract sense, but right where it counted. Blackmail. Was she capable of such a thing? Did the rewards really mitigate the risk? Was travelling through India with Phil the graphic designer (and poet) actually going to be better than building an advertising career? Dangerous bubbles gathered  in her gut. She leaned back in her chair, checked in both directions to see if she really was alone, and let out a very nervous fart.

Arthur Harris passed the strategy section of the commons fully wrapped in his thoughts. His meeting with Tim Broadbent had confirmed the suspicion raised by Nonhlanhla that the man had gone mad.

As he was debating the magnitude of the decline of a once powerful advertising mind, his olfactory senses took over, and he found himself unable to quell a deeper internal debate around the nature of the smells in TBW Smith Jones Wallace Broadbent and Ndimande since he had last been in the building. Several times during the day,  generally when he was close to the bar area, he smelt something distinctly not right. Now, passing the strat section, he smelt something else entirely. He glanced up at the air con, which was humming away, and made an executive decision not to think about smells any more. Sometimes, in the consulting business the true skill was in just carrying on.

Part 1 -24. Part 25: November 21.
Author: Andrew Miller Illustrator: Lebohang Goge

Online Video: the experience is here

by Arthur Goldstuck (@art2gee) A powerful clue has emerged that South Africans are finally beginning to get affordable broadband: one of the three most popular international web sites in this country is YouTube – beaten only by Google and Facebook in amount of traffic from South Africa. YouTube also happens to be the third most visited site among Internet users globally.

That highlights another trend that is so significant, it is an information revolution in itself: video has become one of the most popular forms of accessing information online. The trend has enormous implications for education, health, business and even politics.

Real estate agents are using video to showcase properties, the tourism industry is using it to offer virtual tours of prospective accommodation establishments, schools and universities are using it to share the lectures and courses of some of the world’s great teachers, and business are using it for training and communications.

At the very cutting edge, it is being used to provide an immersive meeting experience for businesses that need something more than shaky images on a TV screen during a video conference.

Last week I sat in on just such meeting in the Bryanston, Johannesburg, offices of multinational networking company Cisco. With a group of Cisco engineers, I sat at a “tele-presence” desk, facing three large video screens, in a meeting with one of their colleagues sitting at a similar desk in San Jose, California, looking into similar video screens. Thanks to the size of the screens, Anna Rubchinskaya appeared life-sized to us, as we did to her. And, because the same furniture is used in these offices across the globe from each other, she also appeared to be sitting in the office with us.

The multiple video screens weren’t just for show, however. As we spoke, the left-hand screen began transmitting the content that she was playing off a digital media player onto the computer she had on her desk. The right-hand screen displayed the content from a digital signboard on a wall in her office, which was continually  updated with Cisco announcements.

She then hit a button, and one of the screens began displaying a collage of images from surveillance cameras around her building. The moment sensors in the cameras detected movement in a high-security area, they triggered an alarm and brought the video for that image to the fore of the collage.

“It shows how physical security, can be integrated into our video and conferencing systems, alongside digital signs and the ability to capture, transform and share video,” said Rubchinskaya.

At the heart of the technology lies a system called a Media Experience Engine, which allows users to integrate almost any applications, from health services like vital sign monitoring by a specialist doctor on the other side of the world to security in a parking garage downstairs.

If it sounds like something that’s been around for a while, then the difference lies in the quality of the video, and the management of the content. The doctor can conduct a close-up examination of the skin condition of a patient 10,000km away. The parking garage can zoom into the registration plates of a motorbike or the face of its rider.

“The big advances are also in what you can do with those images,” says Bilal Sherrief, a Cisco consulting systems engineer sitting in on the meeting. He signals Rubchinskaya, and she picks up an iPhone, aims it at us, and makes a quick video while she provides a running commentary.

“Through an application called Capture-Transform-Share, you can make a video on an iPhone,  store it in a folder for the app on the phone, and via WiFi it is automatically sent to the Media Experience Engine. There it is transformed into the video format you want.”

The video suddenly appears on the digital sign in her office.

Sherrief chips in: “You can use the desktop tele-presence unit as a digital sign, as a tele-presence device, and even as a high-definition video recording studio. Traditionally you needed a camera crew and sound engineer for that; now you just use the media experience engine.”

As a result, high-quality video material can now be created quickly, and shared across an organisation. The system has been described as  YouTube for the Enterprise, and can be combined with instant messaging, social networks, presentation slides and even automated transcripts of speeches as they are being made.

“Two worlds are coming together,” says Sherrief. “A world of content and a world of  visual communications.”

The revolution, it seems, will not be on video. It will be video.

* Arthur Goldstuck heads up World Wide Worx (www.worldwideworx.com) and is editor-in-chief of Gadget. Follow him on Twitter on @art2gee. Reprinted from Gadget.

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Weekly Top 10: Fastest rising search terms from South Africans on Google

With the help of Google Trends we are publishing the top 10 searched for phrases (minus the sexy stuff of course) by South Africans on Google over the previous seven days.

The US presidential elections, and the win for President Obama, dominates the fastest rising Google web searches list from last week. The Linkin Park concert tragedy in Cape Town, test cricket and a search for alternatives to the now stranded budget airline 1time also makes the list.

Fast rising searches

us elections +900%
linkin park +650%
barack obama +600%
obama +600%
cricinfo +250%
cricket +100%
psl +60%
speed test +60%
british airways +40%
discovery health +40%

Top 10 search terms

1. facebook
2. youtube
3. you [tube? – ed.]
4. google
5. login facebook
6. gumtree
7. gmail
8. yahoo
9. news
10. absa
11. fnb
12. jobs
13. games
14. game
15. weather
16. standard bank
17. music
18. news24
19. whatsapp
20. yahoo mail
21. sars
22. maps
23. nedbank
24. cars
25. www.facebook.com

Top 10 search terms minus social media/mail/search

1. gumtree
2. news
3. absa
4. fnb
5. jobs
6. games
7. game
8. weather
9. standard bank
10. music
11. news24
12. whatsapp
13. sars
14. maps
15. nedbank

(For past data click here)

* Google Trends is intended for general analysis of volume patterns.
* When you see Breakout listed instead of an actual percentage, it means that the search term has experienced a change in growth greater than 5000%.

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New Durban agency launched by three ex-TBWA\Hunt\Lascaris staffers doing well

by Herman Manson (@marklives) A new Durban based agency, Conversation LAB, launched August 1 after three TBWA\Hunt\Lascaris staffers broke away to go it alone, has successfully been picking up a number of new client accounts.

Founders Kevin Power, Tamerin Borland and Jonathan Oliff have also signed up Brighton, UK, based creative director Christian Anstice.  Anstice continues to work from Brighton using technology to collaborate with his new colleagues (he already oversaw a photo shoot done in SA from his office in Brighton without any hick-ups says Power).

Power was Head of Client Service and Digital at TBWA and before that served a stint in London as Brand Director for Publicis Modem London. Borland was a Strategic Planner at TBWA and Oliff Digital Account Executive at the same firm. All four has strong backgrounds in digital.

Yet Conversation LAB isn’t positioning itself as a digital agency – instead it is aiming to build on through-the-line thinking with a strong digital influence. The agency also promises to be strategically lead and media agnostic and has brought on board an interesting collective around the core team to assist it in cracking client problems.

Thinking creative directors or copywriters can solve modern business problems is naive, says Power, and agencies need to bring different and refreshing thinking to the table. This is where the Conversation LAB collective steps in, members include architect John Royal (who brings a unique perspective on physical spaces and human behaviour and needs says Power), UX designer Simon Villet and illustrator Olivia Villet, amongst others. The team lives and works in places as diverse as Durban, London, Cape Town and NY. Having access to the talents of the Conversation LAB collective on a freelance basis also keeps costs low at the agency says Power.

Power says agencies need to be moving away from creating advertising for products and take up a brand utility approach which turns advertising into a service. Power, who has built up a lot of international experience, says few South African agencies are moving fast enough to keep up with the momentum of changes in the marketplace.

The new agency aims to be agile and produce work quickly and of a high standard.

Launched with no clients in August Conversation LAB  has already found success in signing up new business. It won the social media and digital strategy business from Compendium Insurance group as well as the through-the-line accounts of international fashion brands Beaver Canoe (with 70 stores in South Africa and Botswana) and Style (with 50 stores in Namibia and Botswana).

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Magazine covers we love & what makes us ‘Southern’

MarkLives.com runs a regular slot featuring the best local and international magazine covers every week. We recognise well thought out, powerful and interesting (and hopefully all three in one) magazine covers and celebrate the mix of pragmatism, creativity and personal taste that created each of them. By media blogger MediaSlut.

INTERNATIONAL

Atlanta, November 2012

‪

For their “Southern Issue” Atlanta magazine took its cover to a whole new level by embroidering on it things perceived as  “Southern”. I love the creativity and concept of the cover and can just see an Afrikaans title asking the question “How Afrikaans are we?” and this concept working perfectly.

Little White Lies, November / December 2012

This little British independent movie magazine definitely beats to its own drum and also showcase the most creative covers featuring faces of actors/characters. The November / December 2012 issue is no exception with them featuring the movie “The Master”.

New York, 12 November 2012

Some websites and magazine critics have gone as far as saying that the latest New York cover is their favourite cover of the whole year. For me it’s an almost ‘calming’ cover that shows what the hurricane and storm Sandy did without being too graphic and shocking readers. The small type used (“The City and the Storm”) is very subtle and placed perfectly. For the story behind the image, and more stunning photography, read on.

LOCAL

iMaverick, 2 November 2012

It’s not every day that we see such a graphic cover in South Africa but iMaverick took the risk and is sure to cause some debate!

Playboy South Africa, November 2012

Shock value definitely works and the new Playboy South Africa cover is definitely that and more! It’s beautifully executed, and as Charl du Plessis (Editor) told me correctly, it’s actually the most “conservative Playboy cover yet.” This isn’t a unique concept, and has even been done before by another Playboy edition, but I still love it. Read more about the cover here.

Go!, November 2012

I’m sure that a lot of time and work went into getting this perfect picture. The end-result, and new Go! cover, is almost ‘magical’ and makes me want to go there to also experience the magic of sleeping under all those stars.

– The (for now anonymous) blogger behind MediaSlut knows way too much for his own good about media in South Africa. Magazines in particular. His mission is to show when South African magazines might fail, but most importantly, succeed. If you’re looking for a library about South African magazines and news, your one-stop pitstop is MediaSlut. #MagazinesForTheWin

– Find a cover we should know about? Tweet us @marklives and @mediaslut
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Tech Law: Content piracy and a panicked industry

by Paul Jacobson (@pauljacobson) We’re so accustomed to the term “piracy” in the context of copyright infringement that we just accept that it is an Paul Jacobsonappropriate term for what is going on. The Entertainment Industry decries rampant content piracy and how the artists are suffering at the hands of these callous Joe and Janine Publics who couldn’t be bothered to pay for the content they are stealing. Legislators and honest consumers worldwide respond almost viscerally to the “piracy” metaphor applied to the practice of making use of content without permission and to the underlying notion of copyright as property, which is capable of being stolen in the first place.

To make matters worse, the Entertainment Industry really seems to have the facts and figures on its side. Well, that is what we are led to believe anyway. In his book, Moral Panics and Copyright Wars, William Patry tackles this topic in some detail (and it is worth reading his book to understand the subterranean dimensions of this metaphorical war on consumers). Some of the figures the Entertainment Industry shares with legislators in the United States (and likely with other legislators in other countries) are 750 000 and the $200 to $250 billion figures. As Ars Technica’s Julian Sanchez explained in his critical article titled “750,000 lost jobs? The dodgy digits behind the war on piracy” –

If you pay any attention to the endless debates over intellectual property policy in the United States, you’ll hear two numbers invoked over and over again, like the stuttering chorus of some Philip Glass opera: 750,000 and $200 to $250 billion. The first is the number of U.S. jobs supposedly lost to intellectual property theft; the second is the annual dollar cost of IP infringement to the U.S. economy. These statistics are brandished like a talisman each time Congress is asked to step up enforcement to protect the ever-beleaguered U.S. content industry. And both, as far as an extended investigation by Ars Technica has been able to determine, are utterly bogus.

It turns out that the key figures the American Entertainment Industry relied on in its lobbying efforts as measures of the terrible impact content “piracy” was having on the artists (the poor, beleaguered artists) were, in fact, nonsense. These metrics have been massaged, exaggerated and blown out of proportion since their genesis in the 1980s but otherwise accepted as truth by, presumably, well meaning politicians trying to understand an apparent economic menace.

What is emerging from more critical examinations of the Entertainment Industry’s reports on “piracy’s” impact on the industry is that these reports are somewhat self-serving and inaccurate. Mike Masnick, writing at Techdirt, has been writing about this for some time and his posts are insightful and challenge misleading and false assertions made by Big Media. His post, titled “RIAA Insists That, Really, The Music Industry Is Collapsing; Reality Shows It’s Just The RIAA That’s Collapsing” speaks to the music industry’s health in the context of a report which reviewed the music industry around 2010 and 2011 and found that, contrary to the Recording Industry Association of America’s assertions, the music industry is doing pretty well.

The report’s findings confirm what many artists and content creators have reported for years. Even in the midst of all this apparent content “piracy”, the effects on the industry as a whole have not nearly been as dire as Big Media would have us and legislators believe. In fact, as I mentioned in a post I published a little while ago, many content creators embrace this “piracy” because its tends to boost legitimate sales of their content. As Masnick points out, the problem is more a perceptual one based on increasingly obsolete business models Big Media clings to:

The real problem here is that the RIAA ignores the zeros. In the past, under the old system, if you weren’t some hugely successful label musician, you generally weren’t a musician at all. You made zero and you dropped out of the market entirely. So you didn’t count. But thanks to the new opportunities, many more people can make music, release music and make money from music. But that means a lot more competition. So, sure, if you don’t compete with that wider base of competition, perhaps you’re going to make less. But that’s not a sign indicating a decline in health of the overall market. It’s exactly the opposite.

I’m reminded of the early studies when computers were first introduced into the workplace. For about a decade afterwards, there were studies that showed that, on average, offices that had computers on every desk saw productivity decline. So, some argued, companies shouldn’t computerize. But that’s a misunderstanding of statistics. The problem was that many companies didn’t know how to properly use computers. Those that did were thriving. Those that didn’t had negative results — and when you netted it out, early on, the negative results outweighed the positive, but that turned the corner once people started to figure things out.

The same thing is happening in the music industry. Many artists are so used to the way things were that they don’t quite understand how to embrace and use these new offerings. For them, life is definitely more difficult. But as more and more tools have made life easier, there’s more and more opportunity, and those who do understand these things are seeing success.

The Entertainment Industry’s focus tends to be regimented licensing arrangements which appear to be designed to protect a business model which developed before the Internet went mainstream and which is designed to protect entrenched distribution channels. The industry has made excellent use of metaphors like “pirate” and “piracy” to malign consumers who obtain and share content illegally and without making use of existing, yet inconvenient and overly restrictive, distribution channels.

As the Internet increasingly becomes a part of our daily lives and sharing our lives more frictionless, consumers expect to be able to obtain their content just as easily. Rather than making a concerted effort to change its business models and embrace the Internet and the opportunities it presents, the entertainment industry has adopted a protectionist strategy and has lobbied legislative bodies to clamp down on consumers who defy the industry. Those consumers are labelled pirates and branded criminals and yet there is a wealth of anecdotal evidence that consumers will generally pay for content they can conveniently obtain at a reasonable price. I believe this is why so many South Africans create foreign iTunes accounts to buy content from the iTunes store even though the complete iTunes store isn’t available in South Africa yet.

Terminology that depicts consumers frustrated with irrelevant entertainment industry business models is more indicative of a failing industry unwilling to adapt to changing technologies, consumers’ demands and new business models than it is an indication of a real threat to artists and to rights-holders. Clearly unauthorised content use is problematic and rights-holders are entitled to determine how their content may be consumed but labelling consumers who are desperately seeking alternatives to conventional distribution models and media formats as pirates is more likely to further alienate consumers and aggravate the problem.

– Paul Jacobson is founder and director of Web•Tech•Law

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Triumph Of The Anti-Language

by  Bob Hoffman (@adcontrarian) There is a talk I give to groups from time to time called “The Golden Age Of Bullshit.”

The talk has a few basic themes. One of which is that we are living in an age in which business bullshit artists have invented an anti-language. Its objective is to confuse rather than clarify. This is the opposite of what language is supposed to do.

Yesterday I received an email from from Oracle. The headline said:

Architecting Business Continuity Essentials for Enterprise Applications

Eager to find out how my enterprise applications could be architected for business continuity I read on.

I learned that I could…

Facilitate capacity planning and performance tuning. And effectively consolidate and virtualize enterprise application environments.

All I can say is, if you’ve never virtualized your enterprise application environment, dude it’s awesome.

But that’s not all. By subscribing to their “techcast” I could also…

  • Deploy mission-critical services with maximum resiliency
  • Architect effective site failover and disaster recovery processes

Cancel my trip to Hawaii.

And speaking of bullshit, I was sitting in a coffee shop the other day. There were two flat tires sitting at the next table.  I actually heard one of them use the words “mission-critical.” I didn’t know people really said it. I thought it was just a term whose use was legally restricted to bad radio spots and idiotic emails.

All this bullshit used to be funny. Now it’s just depressing. We have a whole generation of business people whose brains have been corrupted and debased by a vocabulary of jargon and obfuscation.

They think they are hiding their ignorance behind a curtain of tarted up language. In fact, they are exposing it.

– The Ad Contrarian is Bob Hoffman, ceo of Hoffman/Lewis advertising in San Francisco and St. Louis. Hoffman is the author of The Ad Contrarian and 101 Contrarian Ideas About Advertising. Reprinted from his blog The Ad Contrarian.

(Not quite) Ad of the Week with Oresti Patricios: Eish! Telkom – what a headache

MarkLives (Not quite) Ad of the Week with Oresti Patricios: Eish! Telkom – what a headache

The scene opens in a futuristic type tunnel, where nattily dressed man steps out from a computer generated symbol that appears to be part of a logo. As he starts walking closer towards the audience he’s saying: “When it comes to staying in touch, staying in one place isn’t an option.”

There’s a network of neurons adjacent to him that glow, and almost appear alive. Words flash in Google-esque type frames and a dynamic red orb appears and rotates around the man, who’s wearing glasses because he’s intelligent – you see? But a T-shirt under his casual suit which means he’s smart, yet accessible. Trendy, yet timeless.

The erudite protagonist continues amidst orbs that become liquid, and then immediately resume their more firm form: “Wherever your day takes you. From talking business to catching up on the home front, you need all your devices – laptop, desktop, smartphone and tablet – to work together. Keeping you connected –  anytime, anywhere. It’s not complicated. It’s the journey to convergence.”

If you don’t know which brand this ad belongs to, would you be able to guess?

Is it an ad for an ahead of the pack bank that’s enabling special discounts on mobile devices for a consumer market that wants to process payments and take care of their finances on the go? Or is it a new campaign for an internet solutions provider that’s touting that turn of the century catch-all for the brand new digital world, that word ‘convergence’.

Let me put you out of your misery – here’s the pay off line for this week’s advertisement:

“All your communication needs – voice, data, mobile, fixed line and cloud – in one place. Convergence from Telkom – one solution, one service provider.”

There are a couple of serious problems with Telkom’s new ad. First off there’s the fact that we’ve all seen this advert so many times before. Yes it is another variant of the Telkom ‘DO Broadband’ TV ad, and the many, many other ads for internet service providers, banks and telecommunications companies that have used this approach to show some sort of forward thinking positioning.

Secondly it is another in a series of advertisements that doesn’t really position Telkom with any real sense of continuity. Over the years we’ve had the Telkom talking dog which was incredibly endearing, the Telkom closer ad, the musically hip and infections soccer world cup ad, and of course Telkom’s corporate ad which told us all that the telecoms giant was about ‘more than just technology.’ My own personal favourite was the Telkom ‘waya waya’ ad because it was so wonderfully local.

Make no mistake, these adverts have all been superbly crafted, but they’re missing that golden thread that unifies a great, enduring campaign like MTN’s campaigns which are unmistakably created for the yellow network or Vodacom’s perennial campaigns that have been so solidly focussed. This is fairly ironic given that Telkom was a partner in Vodacom’s launch with Vodafone. Telkom sold Vodacom in 2008 and started its own mobile network, called 8ta.

The malady that infects Telkom’s ad campaign is symptomatic of its bigger corporate problems. Since the formerly government owned company privatised and listed on the Johannesburg Stock exchange, it has had five different CEOs. The most recent departure of a Telkom CEO was on Monday 05 November 2012.

Telkom announced that Pinky Moholi was set to leave as the company’s leader and the share dropped with analysts saying that her departure was a blow to the telecommunications giant that was lumbering, and struggling to turn around.

Moholi left, it appears, because of ongoing government interference in the company which made it impossible for her to implement an effective turn-around plan. The government wants to have its cake and eat it when it comes to Telkom. It wants the company to be privatised and listed, but it also wants to appoint whomever it wants as CEO, and on the board. At the time of writing this Telkom is rudderless and doesn’t have a CEO or a chairperson. It is also short of a couple of board members.

Looking at the company it seems like advertising is the least of its problems. The organisation has no clear strategy, its share price is ailing, and it seems to be going nowhere. The advertising for Telkom merely reflects this confusion. And not even the smartest advertising agency in the world could do something constructive about Telkom’s image until it sorts itself out.

Ad of the Week is published on MarkLives every Wednesday. See past selections here.
Oresti Patricios is the CEO of brand and reputation analysis company Ornico.

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