by Mandy & Jon (@mandyldewaal) How do you sell a squatty potty :) ? “A what?” you may well ask.
A squatty potty :) is a patented human evacuation aid that slides around the base of any normal crapper. When you need to go, you put your feet on the squatty potty :) and do number two.
The problem with modern toilets — the makers of the squatty potty :) will have you know — is that they’re not well designed. Humans are designed to squat when they do doodoo. Squatting frees the colon, while sitting on a loo without your feet raised (in a seated position, as is common in the west) means that there’s a muscle looped around your colon that constricts it. The result may mean an evacuation that must be done under pressure, which could lead to haemorrhoids, constipation, bloating or “loads of other crap”.
So how do you sell a squatty potty :)?
You could go the medical endorsement route (been there, done that).
Or you could unleash the medical charts and case studies (boring).
Or you could employ the services of a unicorn that poops soft-serve swirls and glitter, together with a toff Lord of a narrator who’s all Game of Thrones but without the betrayal, death and disaster. Said Lord should be devilishly handsome, but in an upmarket, used car salesman sort of way, and should be adept at delivering hilariously funny and absurd copy with a proper, plummy voice.
The result is a laugh-out loud TV commercial for a plastic device that promises to help people poop better, which will make you rethink about the way you go to the loo and will also change the way you look at soft-serve ice creams.
But don’t trust us. Take a look at the ad yourself and see the sales promise — “Can’t get the last scoop out the carton? With a squatty potty :) you get complete elimination” — brought to life by a nobleman who licks unicorn poop off a cone, and a mythical beast that shits frozen rainbow treats.
Credits
Executive producers: Jeffrey Harmon, Derral Eves
Producer/1st art director: James Dayton
Directors: Daniel Harmon, Dave Vance
Prince of Poop: Wes Tolman
Unicorn voice: Mitch Hall
Creative director: Daniel Harmon
Writers: Dave Vance, Jeffrey Harmon, Daniel Harmon
Director of photography: Casey Wilson
Editor/script supervisor/DIT: Kaitlin Snow
VFX: Nick Dixon
Production management: Benton Crane, Madeleine Flynn
Props conveyor belt & toilet: Jay Davis, Deveren Farley
Colour: Ben Brooksby
Casting: Ben Hopkin, Daniel Harmon, Jeffrey Harmon, Derral Eves, Dave Vance
Sound: Jacob Edvalson
Sound design: Jacob Edvalson, Daren Smith
Line producers: Spanky Ward, Benton Crane
1st AC: Lane Russell
Gaffer: Carl Gundestrup
Grip: Josh Contor
Set designer: Chloe Huber, Corbin Allred
Unicorn creator & animatronics director: Chris Hansen
Hair/makeup: Abigail Steel, Vanae Morris
Wardrobe: Anna K Findlay
Puppeteers: Matthew Cramer, James Morris, Emily Fox
Food stylist: Amelia Carbine
PA/craft: Josh Ralphs
Mandy de Waal and Jon Pienaar are writers, and are the co-founders of Jo!Ma Media — a company that creates kief content.
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